Are you seeking happiness or reward?
Life is busy and you work hard. What is the harm in rewarding yourself with a little something from time to time?
The pursuit of pleasure is nothing new. It is a survival mechanism that has served us well for over a million years. Early humans who found pleasure in eating, reproducing, and socializing had a better chance of survival. When we experience pleasure, a chemical called dopamine is released in the body. Dopamine is the “reward chemical” that is linked to pleasure and motivation. Just like rewards, the problem with dopamine is that it is short-lived and often leads you to craving more. Quick rewards that trigger dopamine include gambling, social media scrolling, and even some drugs that leave us seeking another “hit” to maintain that pleasurable feeling. Over time and after excessive overstimulation, our baseline levels drop, making the same activity feel less and less rewarding. This can lead to problems like overeating, gambling addiction, and constant distraction from scrolling through your phone.
Rewards can be healthy if you avoid constant stimulation (eg: endless scrolling, junk food, quick rewards). By participating in natural dopamine boosting activities like exercise and creative projects, and by delaying gratification, you can build resilience and long-term happiness.
Happiness on the other hand, balances dopamine with other pleasure chemicals including serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins.
Dopamine - the “reward” chemical linked to pleasure and motivation.
Serotonin - the “mood stabilizer" regulates mood, sleep, and overall well-being.
Oxytocin - the “love hormone” is associated with social connection.
Endorphins - the “pain relievers” reduce stress and pain.
Many of these chemical reactions come from within and are tied to meaning, fulfillment, and well-being instead of just external factors and are built up over time through relationships, purpose, and personal growth. Compared to the quick hits of dopamine tied to rewards, happiness is more stable. In general, it’s about enjoying the journey instead of just the destination.
How can you add more happiness? Start paying attention to the things that give you pleasure. Focus on the things that bring you joy from the inside vs. outside. Try a new activity and enjoy the process of learning something new instead of receiving praise for doing it. Get outside and exercise in the sunlight. Eat a healthy meal. Call a friend or family member and reconnect. Have a good laugh!
The more you focus on happiness instead of reward, the more you’ll begin to feel an overall sense of well-being, contentment and joy!
